I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
