Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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