Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
