Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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