I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
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I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
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Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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