Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
