Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
