Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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