if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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