The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Randomize
