oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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