WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
