her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
