forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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