Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I fill condoms, not promises.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
