I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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