oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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