I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
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i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
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I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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