David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
