Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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