This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
