You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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