i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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