You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize