The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize