Can i not drive my cunt home
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
