god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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