He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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