it hurts more in the daytime
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I would fuck him just for his dog
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
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