I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
