I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
