she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
