what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
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She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
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You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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