Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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