I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
