i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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