drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
