my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
