Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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