"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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