I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
