some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
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I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
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sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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