i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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