That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
