well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
only if we run a train.
done.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
pop tarts are not kleenex
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
