I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm determined to sit on that face.