is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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