listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
