Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
