hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
