These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You don't make any sense
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