Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
