dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
