I hate all girls vehemently.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
