At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We had sex on a dog bed..
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
