why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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