I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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