covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I intend to get homeless drunk
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
