i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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