I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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