but the lizard people decide everything anyway
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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