I got chris browned last night
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
