I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
