I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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